


why me?

by pacificnewt



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Poor Hermann, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 18:30:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17813195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pacificnewt/pseuds/pacificnewt
Summary: Even Hermann Gottlieb has fears.





	why me?

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this in july and i finally finished it i love them

It isn’t often that Hermann Gottlieb cannot sleep. The man is practically a machine; always running, always functioning, always busy. The fact that he is constantly exhausted is never up for debate and when the opportunity arises for him to relax, rest assured he _will_  take it.

 

Certain circumstances are exceptions. For example, when Hermann is lying awake at night, his entire body convulsing sporadically with the clapping of thunder outside the shatterdome.

 

Not often is it that Hermann finds himself unable to drift away into the dream realm. The only time he can’t find it in him is during thunderstorms.

 

Hermann flinches. His head is buried underneath one of his pillows, body clad in a woolen blanket and as close to night clothes as a man like himself can get, but his blood still runs cold. Each time he sees the bright flashing of lightning through his blinds he gasps and cowers further into his bed. He’s mentally cursing himself for being, well, _afraid_ , and he’s hissing through his teeth while his body shakes both with shivers and fear.

 

While Hermann is situated in his bed uncomfortably and wishing he was anywhere else, he supposes he just might go insane if he’s to wait the storm out to be able to catch a decent amount of rest. It is then when Hermann Gottlieb does the unthinkable— he voluntarily summons himself into the presence of his lab partner.

 

Hermann finds the strength deep within him to stand and get his bearings. He pads over to the door of his quarters, jumping and nearly falling when another clap of thunder shatters the sky, then quickly continues on. Down the hall he finds himself in front of a familiar door. Hermann sucks in the deepest breath he can possibly manage and he brings his fist to the metal surface.

 

Almost as soon as he begins to knock, the door flies open and a curious face replaces the space. When they make eye contact, the resident grins. “Hermann! Wicked storm out there, huh?”

 

Hermann swallows and dignifies the inquiry with no answer. “Newton. May I come in?”

 

Newt raises an eyebrow, then breaks back into a smile. “No problem, dude. Make yourself at home!” He opens the door further while Hermann limps his way into Newt’s quarters. He sits himself down on the edge of Newt’s unmade bed and peers around the room.

 

Newt watches him fondly, standing in nothing but a simple t-shirt and his boxers. He catches himself and suddenly throws his hands up. “Oh! Oh, hey, can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, something to eat?”

 

Hermann offers a halfway-forced smile with a hint of apology. “Tea sounds lovely, thank you.”

 

Newt slips into his small kitchen and gets to work. The two say nothing for some time— Newt being hospitable and Hermann trying to convince himself he isn’t imposing on Newt’s night— then Newt scampers back to his bed with tea in hand. He passes the cup on to Hermann, who graciously accepts.

 

“You’re too kind,” Hermann says, slowly bringing the cup to his lips.

 

“That’s a first!” Newt chuckles when he comes back from his second trip to the kitchen for a snack for himself.

 

Hermann blows on the tea and turns thoughtfully to face Newt. Newt opens his bag of chips and raises both eyebrows this time.

 

“So, like, I hope this doesn’t come off as rude or anything like that, but it isn’t all the time you just sorta... show up here in the middle of the night. What’s up?” He cocks his head to the side.

 

Hermann nods. “My apologies. Please, feel free to show me out if I’m any sort of burden, I just—“

 

“Hell no!” Newt cuts him off. “Absolutely not, never! I always got time for you, bud.”

 

Hermann smiles weakly and sips his drink again. “Thank you, Newton. To tell you the truth, I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Newt frowns and shoves his fistful of chips into his mouth. “How come?”

 

Hermann shifts uncomfortably. “I detest storms,” he whispers. He expects Newt to laugh, but instead he feels a warm hand on his back.

 

“For real? Aw, dude, I had no idea!” Newt scoots up to the edge of his bed to sit beside his friend. “Were you scared?”

 

Hermann nods hesitantly. He sets his cup on the bedpost and shudders when the room is illuminated by a jolt of lightning. “I quite like the rain, actually. It’s peaceful, it brings out the pensiveness in me.” Newt wraps an arm around Hermann and Hermann leans into the touch without thinking. “Storms are different. I’ve always disliked them.”

 

Newt nods understandingly and thinks on it for a moment. “I used to hate ‘em when I was a kid, too. Actually, I got over it because I forced myself to stare at it.”

 

“Is that so?” Hermann almost thinks he could laugh. “I can’t imagine I could manage that.”

 

“Sure you could! You’re Doctor Hermann Gottlieb, you can do anything!” Newt rubs Hermann’s shoulder and grins. Hermann grins too.

 

“I’m unsure of how true that is, but you have my thanks.” Hermann puts his hand over Newt’s and feels safe.

 

Newt hums and sits the same way for a while before he wraps his other arm around Hermann and embraces him in a hug. Hermann can feel his face heating up quickly.

 

“Newton?”

 

Newt suddenly gasps. “Ah, shit, sorry!” He pulls his hands away as if he’s been burned. “Sorry, I forgot about your thing with personal space.”

 

“No,” Hermann assures, “it’s quite alright.” He pats Newt’s leg in assurance and Newt smiles weakly.

 

“If you say so.” He reluctantly puts his arm back around Hermann. Another spell passes and he sighs. “Hermann?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Why me?”

 

“What do you mean, Newton?”

 

Newt purses his lips. “I mean, like, why me? Why am I the one you came to?”

 

Hermann thinks on it. He is almost scared to answer. “Why would you not be?”

 

“It isn’t like you spend the day yelling about hating me or anything,” Newt mutters. As soon as he speaks he wishes he hadn’t.

 

“Newton,” Hermann begins, and Newt does not want him to finish. “I don’t... I don’t mean that.”

 

“Dude, you never say anything you don’t mean.” Newt is smiling, nearly to Hermann’s dismay. Hermann worries he feels hurt.

 

“If I truly could not stand you, I would have asked to transfer labs. I think that you know me well enough to know that is the truth.”

 

Newt frowns. Only in disappointment, because he knows Hermann is right. “Yeah, well, still.” He lays down.

 

Hermann turns to look at him, pauses, then lays down with him. Next to him. “Still what?”

 

“Geniuses are fucking _dense_ ,” Newt sighs. Hermann is still dazed until Newt dives over the bed to press his lips to Hermann’s.

 

Hermann’s face heats up on cue, pasty white to burning red in a matter of seconds. He’s hopelessly flustered and can’t even bring himself to kiss back out of shock, so he instead lays awkwardly with Newt kissing him almost just as confusedly.

 

When Newt pulls away his eyes gleam with childlike wonder. He almost looks as though he’s been administered laughing gas. He props himself up on the bed, chin in elbows, and admires Hermann in his frazzled glory. The two make eye contact; Newt studies the blush in Hermann’s cheeks and Hermann stares at Newt’s lazy smile. As soon as they feel in-sync, they burst out laughing.

 

Newt has never heard Hermann’s genuine laugh. He wipes tears out of his eyes to listen to the way he breathes in between laughing, throaty but also from deep into his core. Hermann has his arms around his body, laughing like he’s been possessed. He doesn’t notice when thunder rolls across the sky and lightning dances against Newt’s window. He is too busy indulged in a feeling that begins in his chest and spreads to the very tips of his fingers and toes.

 

Newt slides his glasses off and sets them on his bedside table, then turns back and starts laughing again when he sees Hermann. Hermann breathes heavily, his sides and stomach aching deliciously. Newt comes down from the high eventually and then stares at his hands.

 

“I hadn’t expected that,” Hermann says at last, clearing his throat.

 

“Took me long enough to do it.” Newt laughs. Hermann hums, unsure of what to say, and Newt finally speaks again. “Hermann, I love you.”

 

Hermann gazes back up at Newt, taking one of the biologist’s hands in his own. Hermann’s eyes flutter closed as he kisses the hand and places it on his bad knee. Newt rubs the joint with his thumb and Hermann sighs. The rain outside gradually slows to a drizzle.

 

“That’s why I came to you, Newton. I love you too.”


End file.
